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Pakistani Weddings: The Walima

Posted by NidalM on May 27th, 2010 | 21 comments

With all the legal and cultural requirements of a wedding completed, there is but one final function remaining in the long line of wedding celebrations: PAAAAARTYYY!! Ahem, sorry, I meant: the Walima. The origins of this event lie in a strong Sunnah of the Prophet, who would always arrange a feast in celebration of weddings (his own, or his daughters). While it isn’t a requirement (or ‘fard’) for an Islamic acceptance of a wedding, it is highly recommended. The motivation being to make a marriage well known in the community.

In Pakistan, the Walima is held a day or two after the Shaadi and is considered a function of the groom’s family (unlike the shaadi and the mehendi, which are usually held on the bride’s turf!). With the bride already living with the groom, this event is a simple invitation for her family to dine with the groom’s, with very little rasms (customs) that take place. That doesn’t mean its boring, however! It just means you’re free to make you’re own versions of fun!

You can always see the photos in bigger sizes:
See it BIG
Make it small

It's an unspoken rule that the Walima day is Suit Day. The groom, his friends and family put on ties and look all important and formal. Neil Patrick Harris would be proud!

Ah, the ever present connection of weddings to being gifted kitchen appliances. We all know that's probably a blender. Or a blender 6-pack. Why must EVERYONE give a blender? Well, at least it beats the more suggestive gifts... like baby strollers.

The closest analogue to a Walima in western culture would be the wedding reception. The bride and groom are married and is is socially acceptable for them to be seen together! Of course you may argue that the dinner and gathering during/after a nikah ceremony in the Shaadi is in itself a reception. Just... dont argue... This could be a reception #2. Happy? Or 3rd, if the family celebrated Nikah and Shaadi separately... hmm ...

The concept of the Walima is to 'show' the couple to the friends and family of the groom, whereas the primary guestlist at Shaadis is set by the bride's family. As such, the most important part of the evening at Walimas is the entrance of the couple. Music plays, lights are dimmed... Climatic!

And of course, the subsequent photo ops : D What follows is a grueling hour or so (for the photographer at least!) where people want to, for some unexplainable reason, be photographed with the couple. The photography sessions are also the place where aunties check you out. Since families will usually take their photos together, an aunty will keep a lookout for your ammi and approach her later Protip: Take photos with multiple families. It will throw off the rishta aunties...!

The rest of the Walima is about having fun! Since it is the groom's function, his friends will usually put on a dance or a skit.

Entertainment is entertainment! The groom's brother puts on a humorous skit with his guitar! While this may be a more western influence, putting on a show in this fashion is decidedly a very desi thing to do : )

And yes, incase you're wondering, that *is* me. Dancing to 'Pehla Nasha'. Youtube it, you'll understand ;P

As I said before, there are no set rules for Walima. Families and guests will do what they find fun. Which, in this case, meant dancing into the night...

There you have it folks, Weddings in Pakistan! If you missed any of the previous posts, here they all are:
Courtship and Marriage in Pakistan
The Dholki and the Mayoon
The Mehendi
The Shaadi
The Walima
Hope you enjoyed them! Do share your experiences and traditions at any weddings that you’ve been to. Would love to hear about them! Who knows, I might get to shoot them someday

Tags: culture, pakistan, wedding

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yousufrafi

very well written and explained… well done… keep it up
Aeishah

Good work Nidal!
http://www.nidalm.com/blog/ NidalM

Thanks Aeishah!
http://www.chezchiara.com/ Chiara

Great post to complete the series! It reminded me that in traditional Moroccan weddings and neo-traditional ones there are receptions hosted by the bride's family, and by the groom's family primarily. Often though there is just one walima for all, hosted by one or the other, or both.

I recognized you in the “dance photo” but isn't that also you in the skit? Or your twin brother wearing the same tie? LOL

Rather large blender don't you think? Maybe it is one of those collapsible umbrella strollers. Seriously, a stroller as a wedding gift? A little…uh…unsubtle!

Nice auntie diversion tactics!

It is great to see the fun side of desi culture. Somehow that never makes it into the news here!

Off topic: check your email! Thanks!
Arooj

'Youtube it you'll understand' LOL

is there really a youtube of you DANCING on 'pehla nasha'!
http://www.nidalm.com/blog/ NidalM

Yes there is. But it's quite embarrassing. You'll NEVER find it ;P
Susanne

Looks like fun! Love the beautiful people and pretty clothes. I see all those women checking you out as you dance. Thanks for sharing this and the others in this series. Enjoyed 'em!
http://www.desital.blogspot.com hania@desital

i think you covered the whole thing very well. loved it. i found your blog very very informative and might be linking your blog on many of my posts. i love your photography. I myself love to take photographs, mine just arent that good. anywyas, gonna add your blog in my blog roll as well
http://www.nidalm.com/blog/ NidalM

No that was me as well. Funny story though, as part of the skit we took off our jackets and threw them into the crowd. Mine landed squarely on the girl you see behind me. Fun times

I'm just going to say this once. So what if we can't really dance. Brown people have fun too!
http://www.nidalm.com/blog/ NidalM

Thanks for stopping by Hania I've checked out your blog as well and really enjoy the writings. Very few bloggers I know are based in the Eastern province!
http://www.chezchiara.com Chiara

Oh, I just saw this. Vicious email hacker undid my comment subscription!

Hmmm. Jacket on girl, is that like when you are in Grade 3 and a guy drops tacks on your shoe, and you know he likes you? (true story, happened to my sister)

Who says you really can't dance? Which brown people? All the ones I know have fun, but come to think of it I have never been to a Desi wedding–yet! Must speak to the aunties!
Giftxperts

i really like this blog and nice pictures of couple and they are luking really cute, atmosphere is really nice and awesome wowwwww…….
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Hamza

amazing photography, thanks for sharing…

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http://nidalm.com/blog/travelography/courtship-and-marriage-in-pakistan/ Courtship and Marriage in Pakistan | NidalM Photography

[...] Putting them up here I post them: The Dholki and the Mayoon The Mehendi The Shaadi The Walima [...]
Shumaila Khan

Really nice wow love it…… giftxperts com
Sania Rehman

love it…..
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really nice posts
i like these
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very nice wedding love it
Subhana Khan

nice sharing loved it
Waseem200846

keep it up… i just suggest to post promte real culture
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I like weddings of Punjab.